Peoples choices

As we all know people have choices to make the choices are regarding life work family anything you name it you have a choice you either have a good choice or a bad choice it all depends on I guess the choice that you made with how things react so with me at the moment I seriously feel like I am everyone’s second third fourth fifth ect choice.

I never feel like anyone ever comes to me first I always feel that I’m only ever useful if no one else is around or no whenever I can get things done I’m not sure why people do this or even why I feel like this but it’s heartbreaking in a way it makes me feel like I’m not worth people’s time or I’m only worth it if I got something to give I’m not sure really maybe it’s just my head maybe it’s the truth but yeah I just I really don’t have any any um I don’t even know how to finish that question or answer it or anything like that I’m just I’m stuck why can’t I ever be someone’s First Choice like why can’t anyone ever want to just have something to do with me first why do I always have to be the second third fourth fifth sixth you keep going choice

Cold Horrible Day

So i wish today would just make its mind up, one minute its nice and sunny the next it spitting then raining.
So nothing has been able to get done today no point doing the washing as it wont dry and lets face it, it will always be there tomorrow.
Im meant to give the dog a bath though its just to cold to do it to the poor girl.
So instead today i have been making more Soy Wax Melts to get ready for our market stall on the 14th. my house is full of all these smells, its quiet good cos now the house doesnt smell of dirty dog LOL.

As ive been sitting out side to have a smoke ive noticed the amount of stupid drivers that our street has. the way they race up and down is just stupid as there are a lot of young children that live in our street that really arent that smart and i guess when i say young that i mean year 5 or 6 possibly.. though because we also live on the corner of another street the dickhead just skreetch into the court Jordan was almost hit by a car last night as he was crossing the road

 

I really dont like the street that we live on, though there isnt to much i can do about it, its not like it was back when i was young you really cant let your kids play in the street any more…

our dog doesnt like anything on wheels she will bark and bark and bark and it really sucks, and the stupid kids up the street know this so what do they do?? go up and down past our house on rollerblades/skates or their bikes and stop out front of our place and egg the dog on or they will just go up and down all day long i really want to say somthing to them though i keep my mouth shut the kids seem like they are allowed to get away with anything…

 

any way thats it for now guess ill write more again soon

On the go

People seem to think because I’m a stay at home mum with a 2 year old who goes to child care 4 days a week and a 7 month old who isn’t crawling yet that all I do is sit on my butt all day. So I decided to start counting the steps that I do in a day

Mind you I have a small 3 bedroom place and it takes less than 20 steps to walk from one end to another.though most days I don’t have my phone on me, I leave it outside. Though recently I decided to keep it on me at all times bellow is a screen shot of one of my normal days

Mind you this isn’t one of my most active days. Though for a really small house I think that this is quiet good. I’m normally on my feet most of the time. Though I find it hard to get the app to count all the steps  or it doesn’t pick up as many due to where my pocket is
I do have my lazy days where I hardly do anything. Though I am normally quiet active

When people just there and talk do you actually listen to the words that come out if their mouth of do you just let it flow straight through?
Some people can just go on and on and on mostly about random crap though still none the less they just dribble on. It so hard to sit and listen when it is the same things over and over and over
Some days I actually think “do you even think before you speak? Or are you just saying what ever comes into you head when it does” sometimes I just want to shake my head and say shut the f$#k up. Though yeah so back to the original question what do you do when people talk

Race, race, race…. What do you do when your head just won’t shut off… 
Think think think…… Over thinking every tiny little detail…..    
Stare stare stare….. Having a complete blank look on your face while your are trying to understand what is going on in your own mind
Twitch twitch twitch…     The constant moving as you can’t sit still

Its hard to believe in yourself when you are always being put second or third or forth etc……. Doesn’t matter what I do with anyone or thing I’m always second etc…. So why bother trying any more.

I only seem good enough when people can use me or something I have I don’t know when the last time someone actually spoke to me for me and not to use me or something I own….
I feel like just going into a feel dark hole. At least there I can’t be used or feel used….